Trust: There is None!
by Syn'ri
Summary: "Are you cheating on me, Gintoki?""W-w-what?" He asked as his body shot up from its lounging position. His legs folded with his hands resting atop his knees. As if he'd have the guts to.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gintama or any of its unfortunate characters, which I believe best for me and the characters since I am like 85% sure I would not be able to do what the author does with these characters as well as he does!

 **AN:** This literally came to me last night when I was looking through the new Gintama episodes. I am not sure if this has been done before, but if so, oh well!

It was a sunny and lazy Sunday afternoon in Kabukicho, and Gintoki was enjoying it to the fullest as he lazed about unabashedly scratching his ass before he flipped to the next page of his _Jump._ It was peaceful and quiet unlike many of his days recently. He yawned as he stretched slightly before letting his finger dig for gold in his nose.

Kagura was out fighting crime or walking the dog or whatever the hell she did when she wasn't around, and Shinpachi was off practicing swordplay or stalking that Otsu chick. It did not matter to Gintoki much. As long as they weren't off dying or costing him money in some type of way, everything was gold.

He had spent the week taking on non-stop odd jobs to get the money to pay Otose the rent money she kept nagging him about incessantly. Generally, he would just ignore the old hag and grovel continuously whenever she gathered the balls to actually begin throwing his crap out, but his knees could not take much more supplication so he figured he would actually pay her this time.

He was now finally in the green with Otose again. He only owed her one month's rent!

Needless to say, he needed a little break.

He sighed in content as he leaned over to take a nice gulp of strawberry milk. Only to have the creamy sweet flavor become tainted by the taste of smoke and ash as his nose took in a handful of cigarette smoke. He sputtered a little as he slightly began to choke, and his guest did nothing but continue to stare out of the window.

Oh, he had almost forgotten that she was here. It is not to say that she had become too much of a regular at his home, but he had been around her enough now that he was not always overly attentive to her presence. She did not seem to mind much though as she often caught herself in her own little world as well. Her and her damned kiseru.

They had been seeing each other for over half a year now, and she would drop by on the rare days she had off. Generally, this had come to be about once a week, but on the days that her home, Yoshiwara, was in true turmoil, she could be away for almost two to three weeks. Of course, this worried him, but he would never let it show above calling to check in on her (or just to hear her voice). And, he would never offer his help since she would inevitably take it the wrong way (as if he would be foolish enough to non-jokingly insinuate she could not handle herself).

But, they both knew that if she really needed him, she never had to ask. She probably wouldn't, but she would call him during the hours she was supposed to be getting much needed sleep. Her way of showing she cared. He mentally scoffed at himself for thinking that.

They had flirted (or blushed in her case) around a relationship for a couple years before she had actually been the one to work up the nerve to kiss him, and afterwards when he looked her in the eyes, he knew that she was not going to let him or herself play that off as something else. She was in it now, and he had no choice but to be in it with her.

The taste of unwanted smoke up his nose was disgusting, but the taste of it on her lips was the heaven he wished for when he eventually died despite the fact he knew he would be longing for it in hell. However, Gintoki being who he was, he would never say that. In fact, even thinking it made him cringe, so instead he said…

"Hey Tsukki! You could at least open the damn window."

He said it in his usual monotone voice with his dead fish eyes, and yet instead of shouting out and embedding one of her kunai in the depths of his skull, she continued staring out the closed window almost as if ignoring him. He wasn't even sure if she had heard him, and for a while, he had just stared at her in agitation with a ticking brow before quirking his ticking eyebrow, shrugging, and going back to his _Jump_.

However, just as he did that, Tsukuyo looked at him with a glint in her eye and her kiseru snug in her palm. Her grip tightened on it as she watched him read and scratch an itch on his chest. She schooled her face before she spoke.

"Gintoki."

"Un."

He grunted without even raising his gaze to look at her. She had to stop her eyes from narrowing.

"Are you cheating on me?"

"Un…h-huh?"

Gintoki's eyes shot up to meet her cool expression, and he could feel how wide his dead fish eyes must appear.

" _I've got your attention now, huh, teme._ "

She thought with an inner smirk as she watched him. His expression would have been hilarious if not for the situation. His dead fish eyes wide and his mouth slightly agape, running with no words coming out. She reveled in his expression as she took another taste of her kiseru. Letting the smoke roll from her lips, the tobacco doing nothing to calm her ticking nerves, before she repeated her question.

"Are you cheating on me, Gintoki?"

"W-w-what?" He asked as his body shot up from its lounging position. His legs folded with his hands resting atop his knees. As if he'd have the guts to.

Despite the fact she had repeated the question, Gintoki still found it quite hard to comprehend what she was asking. And, how she was asking. The Tsukuyo he knew would not have let half a day pass by before she confronted him on eating her instant ramen. Let alone cheating on her. She would have come for blood as soon as she suspected anything, and he would be buried under her kunai before he had time to even open his _Jump._

This Tsukuyo was calm, cool, and it kind of scared him.

Tsukuyo just sat there watching him as her grip slightly tightened around her kiseru. In truth, she wanted to go for blood, but she wanted something else a little bit more than that. Answers.

"Well."

She ground out despite herself, and she watched as Gintoki scratched the top of his silver permed head, in what seemed like thought. She felt herself scoff.

"And w-w-why would you a-a-ask…t-t-think that?"

Gintoki stuttered out while trying to think back to anything he may have done the past day, the past week, or the past month for her to think that. Sure, he had done some questionable things in the name of rent, but he was sure hadn't crossed _that_ line!

Tsukuyo was hoping he would just admit to anything he had done so she could drop the act and do what she had truly wanted to. Something that involved her fist, his blood, and possibly a shovel. But, instead, he played dumb as always. So, instead, she reached in her kimono to pull out a bundled handkerchief before throwing at his head.

"Explain that."

She asked in a cold voice that effectively helped Gintoki slightly relax. He liked the way her eyes spelled death. It meant he might just make it out of this with his balls intact. He looked down and slightly unraveled the handkerchief to see a pair of pink lacy underwear. He distinctly heard a woman's low cartoonish moan in the background as a light dust of pink coated the top of his nose. He coughed in his hand to hide it.

"W-what do you mean? Aren't these yours? They are a little more womanly than I would expect from a drunken terminator like you, but I've been known…"

Gintoki felt a red liquid dribble down the side of his head, and he felt something poking into his skull as he looked at a slightly heaving Tsukuyo. Okay, too far?

Yeah, too far.

"No, those are not MINE! And they DAMN well aren't Kagura's either, so whose are they? And what were they doing you your bathroom?!"

Tsukuyo grounded out as she took a step towards him. He felt his battle senses raging, and his body instinctively began to move in a position where he could easily run…if possible.

"They'd better be Ketsuno Ana's!"

Even before they had made it official, she and Gintoki had agreed that if he ever met the beautiful weather girl, all bets were off. And, she had told him that if he ever actually convinced **the** Ketsuno Ana to come home with him, she would give him a free pass. Damn, she'd even buy him a strawberry sundae. However, that was not the case because if it was she was sure that he would not still be with her. He would have asked the other woman to marry him instantly.

"Y-yes,…I mean no!"

"I mean, you and I…we haven't even. And you…you!"

Tsukuyo said as she clutched a kunai in her hand. A part of her believed Gintoki and knew that he would never cheat on her, and another part. Another part knew that he was just a man. He was a man known as the Shiroyasha, but in the end, she feared that he was still just a man. And men have only let her down.

"T-t-tsukuyo, I didn't…I-I wouldn't."

She stalked towards him, and all he saw was a black face and red beady eyes.

"I believe you Gintoki…I totally believe you."

Tsukuyo replied as she violently kicked his table out of her way as she approached. Leaving a slight dent in his wall that made him glad he had paid his rent. Somehow he was not convinced that she was convinced. Gintoki just sighed as he gave into his fate. He knew he was innocent, so he would either let her run him down until she got tired out or let her use him as her own personal pin cushion until he died of blood loss. Either way, he was not going to be able to convince her of his innocence.

He had resigned himself, but as Tsukuyo approached him, he began to hear something cracking. He assumed Tsukuyo was crushing her kiseru under the weight of her clinched fist, but she held six kunai in her fists. His eyebrow perched up in question as he felt something fall on his face from the ceiling. Tsukuyo did not seem to notice in her red beady eyed state until a piece of ceiling the size of the rock fell against her skull.

She shook herself out of the state and glared at Gintoki as she growled.

"Gintoki, did you just…"

She could not finish as the ceiling collapsed in and a human body came tumbling to the ground between them. Tsukuyo peered down in shock as Gintoki's mind began to put the pieces together.

Because laying among the rubble was none other than his stalker and worst nightmare, Sarutobi Ayame. He felt a shiver run up his spine as he noticed she was wearing nothing but a shirt and some underwear. Underwear that looked conspicuously like the underwear now wadded on the floor nestled in Tsukuyo's handkerchief. He felt the sudden urge to throw up remembering how he had touched something that had touched something that had touched Ayame's most intimate parts. Oh, there it goes. He turned and puked rainbows and sparkles in a plant Shinpachi had been cultivating. The poor thing shriveled up instantly as Tsukuyo stood there in shock and Ayame continued her beauty sleep.

From the material items that came tumbling down with her, there is not telling how long she had been up there…watching him. Watching them (though admittedly there hadn't been much to see).

So, that explained the underwear, and his missing hairbrushes and pillows. What she had been doing with those, he did not want to know. In fact, she could keep them all for all he cared.

"Well, that explains it."

Gintoki said as he stood over Ayame with his arms in the sleeves of his yukata. He kind of wanted to kick her but he feared it may arouse her…in more ways than one. He shivered involuntarily as he sighed before facing the quiet Tsukuyo.

"Well, I guess that means I am off the h-h-hook…"

Tsukuyo had her kunai equipped, and there were so many he was sure she had some extra hands as she smirked.

"Gintoki, why the hell is there a woman living in your roof?"

He could only sigh. How in the hell could he explain that one?

 **AN:** Well, there you go! My first Gintoki/Tsukuyo fic of hopefully many! I actually have another one I am going to start after posting this one! If I had my way, every other Gintama fic would be Gintoki/Tsukuyo!

Inspiration for this fic: Wondering how Tsukuyo would react to finding Ayame at Gintoki's apartment. Thinking of doing the same concept…only with them married! Didn't come out exactly how I hoped, but…yeah, it never does. Ever.

But anyways: READ and REVIEW


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